so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
