Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize