okay pat passed out under dana's car
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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