Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize