I feel like abortions should bother me more
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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