the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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