9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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