Do you still have your period?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
