He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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