I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize