Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
