you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
