why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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