i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize