i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
