DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
