He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
