Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
