No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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