Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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