There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
