my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
