there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
