and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
