My Higher Power is John Stamos
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.