i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.