we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
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your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
sex in a hospital.. check
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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