Im at strip club and am horny
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
