Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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