I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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