I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
