He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
