Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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