i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
