i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
