i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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