I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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