That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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