I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
