i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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