Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
