Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
