He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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