i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
