I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
