Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
