I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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