There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
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