Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
