my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
