Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
