I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
