so that wasnt chicken after all
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
