He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
