I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
