the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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