Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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