I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
